Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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