I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
