i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You took a bar mat shot.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize