dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I deserve this hangover.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
