I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
