the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
