so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
