Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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