my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
