i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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