walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We need to get me chipped asap
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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