I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
