i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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