i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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