Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
