That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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