whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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