I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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