He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
