omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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