Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
