and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
