A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
