1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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