i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
