You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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