you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
