The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She bit a glass in half.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im part way to drunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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