I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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