it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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