It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
