so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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