somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
