I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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