another moral hangover. fuck.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize