she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
