So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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