I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this will be a night to untag.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think your dad took our porno
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
