That's intense
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
