So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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