I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
