made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize