ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
