am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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