omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
