Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
