I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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