do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
