I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
