help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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