he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
