i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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