Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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