he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
