sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
FUCK WHALES
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
