Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
