i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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