You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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