Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
