Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
