i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
