i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
