yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
