Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
