Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
