you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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