never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
