dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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