The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
