you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
