I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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