Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i can't believe i had my finger in that
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
